“Life doesn’t happen to you; it happens for you.” – Jim Carrey
This one quote has been a major support beam in the architecture of my mental rigidity. It gets tested often.
I woke up early enough to feel like I some semblance of control. This feeling was a red flag waving vigorously by my subconscious.
After showering and dawning my mask, pens, and knife, I hear my partner on the phone clearly getting some important news as she darted off to the bedroom so as to somehow muffle the conversation.
All I heard was “HAHAHAHAA No Way!”
The energy was off so I went to investigate.
After my partner gets off the phone with a smile on her face and smell of anxiety like a strong perfume coming from her.
Moment of F@ck #1
Partner: “I have been fired.” Me: Silence.
With a strong stoic composer over my demeanor she knew I was not panicked. Inside was a different story… Inside was a tornado sweeping up my foundation of strategy like it was the damn Wizard of Oz.
My reaction to rough situations is a mental shutdown of any nonessential areas. These areas are emotional reaction, fear, anxiety, social interaction, movement, face motor function, and a percentage of awareness. This creates a resting-b@tch-faced individual with vengeance in his eyes. This is my natural resting state. Once I enter this state I won’t be able to escape until there are answers. This is where I do my best thinking.
But there was no time to sit a strategize with my partner who is simply covering fear with laughter.
Moment of F@ck #2
I am the stable one right now and I need to play it.
My mother for her entire career as a mom lived a fake til you make it mentality. Thing is, she still feels she hasn’t made it. I live this mentality because she taught me confidence by faking it within herself. So I played on these strengths this day and for the days following.
I took my partner’s head in my hands and made clear today and now is not the time to panic. Now is a time of swift action and report. Today we do not have the luxury to reflect and take our time. With the coronavirus lockdown in full swing with many unemployed no one has time to sit and wait even if it seems useful. Uncertain times require action. Tread water and swim in the pool of life because if you don’t then you will drown. If you choose to float instead just know that progress also stops. I choose to walk when I can’t walk and I will never stop walking.
“I was so weak I was set into a moment of fuck so I reset my mind.” – David Goggins
Even if I wasn’t believing it fully I needed to fake that remaining percentage of perceived control. I needed to take both of our minds into my hands and keep the car going til I could get our minds stable and ready for continuing.
STEP 1: Plan and Execute.
STEP 2: Create Structure (Daily Habits $ Budget)
STEP 3: Goal Set for Next Progress Check Point
STEP 4: Action
Check in for Part 2….
I am actively living these Moments of F@ck.
Mr. Sods 