Moment of F@ck: Effectively Panicked Part 2

In my last post my partner and I received the news that she and her whole team had been let go due to the coronavirus craziness. 
This relationship with my partner has a theme. That theme is extreme. Seems like we are getting our personal trials out of the way early. So much has happened back to back since being together. A bootcamp in partnership I guess you could say. 

The loss of my partner’s job left me feeling shackled to work. Because I would then be the only income means I can’t stop. No rest with knowing this dual income exists. That means not one missed shift or hour because those numbers need to add up for me to be paid whats expected. Even after this lesson I will still feel the pressure that your life isn’t under your control.

 In the first part of this moment of f@ck I put a four step process down that we would have to take….

STEP 1: Plan and Execute.
We established a plan of action for how my partner would find the next job. 

STEP 2: Create Structure (Daily Habits $ Budget)
We boil down what is important to sustain sanity and financial life. 

STEP 3: Goal Set for Next Progress Check Point
Keep tracking and stay ahead. 

STEP 4: Action
Do it now.

Each step had a moment of its own. Here are those moments…. (Law & Order theme music plays.)

Moment of F@ck #3A

Step One:
Coming home had now become secondary and my health became my main concern. My income is still viable and will need to sustain the boat by being the wind in its sails. But with one man rowing getting to where we want will take longer than expected. 
I had become aware that if I fell ill then there goes 100% of income. That if I can’t work my full amount then we will have less than we would need to rely on. 
This meant taking as many extra hours possible is key. So I did. 
No spending… done.
Become a robot til we find a place to rest. 

Moment of F@ck #3B

With myself under close watch, now onto my partner. The last time she had done a search for a job in her field it took three months to land it in a “healthy economy.” She was thinking this would be the amount of time she needed to execute. 
There was a disconnect in communication at this moment.
Three months is something we don’t have. Three months is something no one has especially during a coronavirus stricken world.
My response wasn’t the best, but I felt I didn’t have time to dress up my communication. I told her we have two weeks to sort it or Trader Joes is the way to go. I figured some income is better than no income. 
This caused her to be over stressed because her way would take more time, but yield more. I have never operated that way so I compromised. Trusting her in what she needed to do to find a powerful job instead of a placeholder.

Lesson: Other people don’t handle stress the way you do. I needed to be more of a support than a drill sergeant even though a drill sergeant is the only response I have in my head. I can’t let my drill sergeant be the communicator. So trust and celebrating wins for her is major. And so I did.  

Step Two: 
On my next day off we established how we can live just off my income…

We discovered based on our savings we can sustain ourselves for some time as she did a solid job search. This created some ease for me, but reminded me that we are still in the thick of coronavirus times. 

Lesson: You may be able to rest for now. But keep hitting that snooze and all that wasted time will catch up with you. I realized as we both did that we will become more prepared so we never have to worry the same way again. 

Step Three: 
My partner is a fighter. I am grateful to share this quality with her the most. I know that without me asking she will work harder than anyone especially for us. But being raised like I did I like to be kept in the loop so I can make any adjustments to stay ahead of anything coming. Limiting my surprises at this time was crucial. 

We did this by solidifying communication.

Lesson: Being clear is the easiest way. We made it clear to each other that I am asking for updates because I am in this with her not over her. We are equal and her problems are mine. If there is anything I could do to assist I want to know in the moment instead of later. We became solid in this. 

Step Four: 
Action was taken.

What she thought would take three months took two weeks. 
She found a job!

This is not to be taken lightly though because the planet is still dealing with this virus. 

Lesson: Times may be good now, but be prepared for if it falls apart. We need to stay vigilant. Celebrate wins, but keep the gaze forward.