Healthy Regret

Regret holds a lot of weight in the woke and developed communities.
It symbolizes that you shouldn’t look to your past with negativity for what has happened and instead move forward owning that misstep.

I feel that having regrets, even just one, is powerful. There are two reactions of regret that are powerful motivators….

Embarrassment and Disappointment.

These two reactionary feelings are amazing tools for understanding where a mistake was made. Having a regret can be negative if you let it. 

I see regrets as a major alert. Something I did or agreed to resulted in an outcome not favorable. These alerts from regret allow me to own the fact that a mistake was made and I must make steps in a direction that is healthy. 

For example, while living in Hawaii my brother came to visit for a week. At this time he was still living at home. I had been living on the island for a few years at this point with a studio, reliable car, and job. What I realized when he stayed with me for a week is that he had yet to live on his own and was operating as such. Leaving clothes piled in the corner, dishes from dinner not done, and an unawareness of the impact on another person. This was a small studio so all this was very noticeable. 

When I dropped him off at the airport at the end of that trip I told him that I did’t want to have him stay with me or live with him in the future with his standards being so low. 

His reaction is why he is family. He shaped up.

By the time he was living out of his parents home he realized what I had said. He worked hard on killing the habits that brought shame to our brotherhood. I am proud that he took these steps. 

Without that trip that was regrettable and the honest ownership of that regret there would have been no change. This change would echo into his life from that point forward. My brother is now someone I would gladly live with. 

Regret doesn’t have to be so negative. It is a powerful emotion that deserves its respect and attention which is why it is one that I feel is majorly important.

Own your past, but don’t repeat the same mistake twice. This is an alert and alerts are meant to be heard and acted on.