Cannibalism

Walking down the dreary hallway as the fluorescent lights hanging in their sockets by what only seems like the electrical current giving it enough juice to flicker. Nausea creeps up on you like a stalker. The faint sound of ripping, gnashing and slurping is heard down the hall. The smell of putrid regret inhabits your nose like a squatter in a vacant house. You turn the corner….. What you see chills you too the bone.

It’s you eating yourself alive.

We often become our own zombies, but not in a physical sense. This type of cannibalism is that of the mind.

As we are human and a species with the gift of thinking about thoughts we also tend to over analyze them. Like ever so many clouds drifting by in the sky so do our thoughts….

The difference is we think thoughts have any more tangibility to use than a cloud. So instead of simply pop open an umbrella we will often choose to sit in the rain as it floods the city of our mind.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!! Heavy Storms Poor Down on a Reporter simply doing his job, “THIS IS STEW WITH CHANNEL 4 AND WE HAVEN’t SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE!” Stew grips his microphone and the stop sign beside him as the waters try to break his balance. “WE ARE DOOMED AND ALL HOPE IS LOST!!!” “WHY AM I EVEN OUT HERE!”
”IS THIS WHERE I DIE!?”

This is how it can feel to be swept away from such powerful persuasion of our own thoughts. I grew up watching such torture befall my own mother.

Watching my Mom struggle to get out of bed simply because there was no energy to be had was one of the best things for me to have seen growing up. Looking back at it now my Mom’s highs and lows were very informative and have taught me how powerful the mind can be.

Aggression was always my outlet and that is only because I choose to turn the raw emotional energy into aggression as I have always been able to turn that into workout energy.

My Mother’s struggle taught me that even an invisible monster can be as real as one gripping your neck in the physical.

The difference of course is that it is just a thought.

I learned healthy detachment growing up. You can also label it as perspective, but I think spicy language reads better. Being able to separate ones self from thought allows you to watch them drift by like the ad on a bus.

All hope is never lost and there is always another way. Anything is possible.

My Mother always found her way out of these crippling thoughts and her way was the motivation of her child. Grounding herself in what I needed would prompt her to find something for us to do that would pull the dark curtain from her mind.

Find what grounds you.

Understand a thought is simply just a cloud and you can dodge the rain and if nothing else us an umbrella.