From a young age my outlet was aggression and violence…. • Mission in a video game too challenging = break the remote. • Traffic too slow = rage in my seat. • Hair not cooperating = bitch at the hair gel.
This aggressive method would only get worse as I aged as with the influx of hormones came punching walls, doors, steering wheels, etc.
Punching became counter productive most when I was selling cars. One day while on a test drive with a customer I became increasingly more agitated as the customer continued to argue with his wife while making such driving mistakes as turning onto a street into on coming traffic. Once this drive ended I stomped my way to the stair well and proceeded to sink two clean punches into the metal door. This resulted in breaking partially one of my knuckles. Since that day I resolved a halt to punch objects to relieve stress.
Harming yourself is never a smart play what so ever. As my knuckle healed I contemplated the ignorance of violence. I no longer could hit the heavy bag at the gym for weeks. The use of my hand diminishing by 20% and the aches became distracting.
Even though it may seem obvious this habit of inflicting pain upon myself became a ready made solution to overwhelming feelings.
My logic was that if I could inflict a physical pain that it would ground me giving me a contrast to the overwhelming feelings. This would work to remind me that the physical pain was real and the feelings weren’t. This would expedite the process of letting a negative thought or feeling go.
I since have become better at letting those storms of frustration to pass like a buzzing fly. Simply blowing it away with swift breath.
Breathing.
Learning to breath through the frustration and stress as it passes leaving you with resolve and peace.
Pain can still be a powerful reminder. Meet Soreness…. This is Pain’s little brother. Soreness lets you know when something needs to recover. Soreness will often show up to restrict movement as to conserve energy for the recovery process. Soreness which is a lesser pain can be a good deterrent or cleansing process.
Much like a martial artist who chooses to avoid fighting because they know it will only result to two people being hurt I have a similar relationship with soreness.
Soreness most easily comes from physical exertion.
The pump from a good weight lift, the burn in a muscle from a solid run or the blood flow of a vigorous yoga routine can create a forceful calm about someone.
The soreness of a good workout is my adult pacifier. This reaction to hard wrk drains me of the bs and nonsense. Making it so I only have energy for what matters and for movements worth moving for. • Rude Customer. • Tripping. • Offensive This or That
None of it matters enough to get worked up about which in turn creates a rigidity to what most would become triggered.
What started as a strong and abusive habit of relief became a dazzling realization of control and peace. No one’s weakness has to stay one. We can evolve and strive for more.
What about you do you hide from yourself in plain site?
Be honest and progress.
Mr. Sods 