Recognizing your own value can be either… As easy as breathing… Or a tough as steel.
Though in the age of social medias many who find it easy don’t really even know how to breath. For me the steel category is home as I don’t place nearly enough value upon my skills and abilities that I have accrued in life thus far.
Take my writing here. This blog was not created because I think I am a great writer, but because those around me and many of them at that had to tell me my perspective is helpful. I feel that I didn’t discover my perspective til I moved out to discover what my brand of life is. None the less no time in my life before meeting my partner did I think what I had to think was worth listening to or reading. My thoughts were always on the lines of, “I’m sure others know this because I’m not the smartest person.”
Whats interesting about that sentence is yes I may not be the smartest person, yet that depends on one’s expertise. Athletes don’t often sew there own shoes together for game day much less to they dictate when and what they eat. The expertise to balance their nutrition, training, recovery and mentality are often held by other people.
It took me a while to realize that my view points when I take my time are often balanced in perspective and thoughtful in execution. My view point can be shared with others to garner better understanding of life experience. I make the medicine go down much easier than without. (Thats a Marry Poppins reference… you know if you know.)
I still don’t assess my value well. Honestly thats why I have seen the true reason why we tend to tribe as humans. My partner is always reminding me consciously or unconsciously that I have value. Most of the time it is the fact that she feels equal to me and I think she is amazing so that must make me so.
I know someone is thinking…. “You are dependent!!!!!!!!”
I get it, but I was myself when we met and all she has done is help me bevel my edges and polish my shine so that there is no confusion I am a diamond. The thing is that we both give this support actively though it feels effortless often. She saw in me as I did her that underneath all roughness there is a flawless diamond… underneath it all (This is a Gwen Stefanie reference… if you know you know.)
Throughout this partnership we are two people always becoming better together. Two heads are better than one (This is a Kennan & Kel reference… you know if you know.)
Recognizing one’s value is an amazing moment and if nurtured can continue to compound indefinitely. Your impact on others has a ripple effect on their surroundings. Like ripples in water if they are strong enough will reach all shores.
Some of us grow up with struggles a child should never know… Be it poverty, uncomfortable overprotection, physical violence, miss communication, emotional violence and manipulation. A child is a pure time of life where your only concern is who you are. So when that time is altered by circumstance it can stunt your emotional or mental growth. This limits the value you see in yourself which often will lead to passively existing instead of thriving.
Your value needs to be created from within and this can be difficult with learned trauma. Like a puzzle the trauma needs to be made clear, heard from both sides or third trusted party and the lesson of it shall be extracted. When someone can take trauma, take out the pain and be left with a lesson that person no longer carries the pain. You then live a life of lessons instead of regret.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget but it does mean to let go of the pain. Being aware of how someone can be destructive is different then actively hatting them.
Value comes from within. Make peace. Build a solid foundation. Create a life you admire and build upon it.
Mr. Sods 