Tomorrow

“So Kyle what brings you in today?”

“Nothing, honestly just a check up I suppose.”

“What are you checking up on?”

“Mental status, perspective or guidance. Maybe some predetermined hindsight.”

“Sounds like a plan. So then nothing to major is going on that warrants concern?”

“Yeah, smooth tides.”

“You know your wife said the same thing.”

“Hey, client patient privilege or whatever and what not, you aren’t suppose to share details doc!”

“Well I’m going to put you through the same exercise and see if we come up with different results.”

“Take it away doc.”

Kyle sits back on his favorite chair for therapy; a powder pink larger than life bean bag that him and his wife’s therapist has really only for children. Angela their marriage and personal therapist will often play more loose with these patients as they don’t often have any problems and yet they show up every month for their appointments. Some of the most punctual people with a solid relationship she has in her roster.

“Alrighty then….” Angela says with a Ventura vibrato.

“Someone has been watching Jim Carrey movies since the last appointment.” Kyle says as he awkwardly leans up fighting a wave of beans in the bag to catch Angela’s reaction.

“Yes, since the last visit and we spoke about how his influence through movies and speeches has impacted you in your youth. So I had to see what the hype was about as my daughter would say.” Angela unsure if she used that phrase correctly.

“Anyway, back to the exercise. Sit back.” Angela demands kindly.

“Will do… shoot.” Kyle chirps.

Angela pushes up her glasses with her index finger and opens her notes. “You mentioned that all is good with your family and your relationships. So I would like to test that.” Angela smirks. “This session will be pretty light and fun, but should bring some nice hindsight as you mentioned.”

“Sounds good here, what’s the question?” Kyle agrees.

“What are some of your pet peeves about your wife?” Angela asks with a mischievous grin.

“So you asked her this same question, huh?” Kyle states rhetorically. “I bet I can list all the things I do for sure, but I will have to ponder a bit on that.” Kyle falls silent as a scowl contorts his face as it does each time he is focused.

“Oh I see I got you!” Angela says catching a glimpse of his face in a mirror, “this your resting thinking face I see.”

“Well, the thing is as I’m sure she may have said is that I don’t hold onto those thoughts for long and have been practicing that with her throughout our relationship. So I can’t grasp any examples…” Kyle trails off muttering.

“OH!” Kyle jolts startling Angela as she jams a hole in her paper with her pen.

“Jeez! Come on warn me Kyle.” Angela admonishes. “What came to mind?” As angela lets out a sigh.

“We have this pet peeve in common. You know those ridiculous wall mounted frames you can get from FloorMart or any other random store that will say….” Kyle coming up with an example and his head drifts over to the right seeing one on the wall.

Jutting his finger out… “yeah, like that!” Pointing at a vague picture with words on it saying live, laugh, love. “We despise those cookie cutter reminder pictures. They say things that are baked in. Why not have something up everyone actually needs to remember.” Kyle goes on ranting.

“Alrighty then…” Angela pushes up her glasses up and rubs her eyes. “So you don’t like my picture of positive words I take it. Your wife put it much nicer. What’s your rational behind your distain?” Angela asks as she fixes her glasses.

“Well ok that was more theatric of a rant. The message is good of course positive, but messages like this only should remain in children environments not for adults.” Kyle states.

Angela chuckles, “maybe look around you Kyle.”

Kyle picks up his head and realizes he is sitting is the children corner of the therapist’s office. “Oh yeah, I’m literally ranting about this picture while in a powder pink beanbag seating upside down.” Kyle falls silent then begins to laugh and rights himself in the beanbag.

“Don’t you and your wife have quotes on your walls of your shared office?” Angela prods.

“Yeah, but those hold heft in their lessons.” Kyle explains.

“Which one stands out the most right now?” Angela asks.

Taking a moment Kyle says, “this quote is by Will… William Fauk… William Faulkner. Had a hard time with that one. Any way the quote goes roughly like…”

“You don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” – William Faulkner

Kyle continues, “…this quote is very important to a thriving relationship I feel.”

Angela slightly surprised says, “in that case lets change course. By the way your wife said the same thing, but much nicer and pleasant.” Both therapist and patient begin laughing as her next clients sit outside hearing it through the door remain confused.

“Alright. I will then ask the follow up to that as I did your wife.” Angela states pausing for dramatic effect.

“Am I suppose to drum roll for you?” Kyle asks sarcastically.

“Ok hot shot. Tell me about tomorrow. How will the day look? What will you do? And. What are the highlights of the day?” Angela lists.

“Hmmmmm.” Kyle falls silent and adorns his resting dick head thinking face.

“Well the day doesn’t really have anything worth talking about til about the afternoon. So I will start there with your tomorrow question, but something came to mind as a pet peeve.” Kyle says pointing his finger to above his head as if there is a lightbulb going off.

“Oh really?!” Angela says very interested. “Go on what came to mind before it flutters off.”

“The other night she woke herself up crying about a dream and I instinctually folded her into a cuddle and comforted her back to sleep. I then wiped the boogers and tears off my shoulder with her pillow and reclaimed a cooler body temp.” Kyle says chuckling off the last bit.

“Was this her most recent dream of loss?” Angela clarifies.

“Yes, right you are our therapist so then I don’t have to explain to much about it to you.” Kyle trails off.

“I know the details, but what did you think of it once you both spoke about it the next morning?” Angela posits.

“Her dream was a what if I had died I suppose in my sleep and her dealing with that trauma. The dream as I explained to her can be one of two things. One is like my mom might say she had a psychic vision of a possible future.” Kyle laughing that one off.

“And the other?” Angela rains Kyle back in.

“Number two is that your mind wants you to work on this fear. She grew up in a home with two parents who continue to stay together and constantly try to help her even when it isn’t wanted. I grew up supported but from separate homes and I saw how grief and depression if unchecked can become a cancer on your life.” Kyle says.

“You have seen a great deal of change happen in front of you especially to your parents.” Angela states reassuring she understands.

“What have you learned?” Angela follows up with.

“I saw my father shoulder the pressures of divorce, being widowed twice among other difficulties and hold himself tall knowing time will turn the table. His faith in continuing to find love showed me that one must take a wider view when in the thickness of hard times.” Kyle answers.

“Wider view? Explain that to me.” Angela asks.

“What I explained to my wife when we spoke about her dream of loosing me too soon is that it may be the end for me, but not for her. I told her this dream is your scarcity mindset view of time. She feels like we haven’t adventured enough or created enough stories before kids were in the picture compared to other married couples.” Kyle states.

“Where do you think this fear stems from?” Angela asks.

“In the early years of our relationship our relationship was tested not only with a pandemic, but with illness and injury. I got injured back to back to back and the heaviest of injuries being the herniation. The peak nerve pain of the herniated disc caused me to experience two seizures, one of which she was woken up by. This injury lasted a year and in that time she had to do pretty much 100% of life for us. In most of that time I couldn’t see farther than the pain I was in. She was effectively alone taking care of it all as I healed. As I got better I took on as much responsibility and emotional support as possible to right the scale.” Kyle explains.

“I see… I remember her telling me about that time. That would definitely create a powerful dream like that. How did you rationalize her fear? Angela asks.

“I walked her over to one of her paintings that she made on a special type of vitamin.” Kyle winks at the doc. “She says it is the artistic expression of our love. So while standing at the painting that is covered in multiple vibrant colored hearts all layered atop each other in a whimsically dancing buzz. I showed her that her dream is showing that her perspective is off a bit.” Kyle says.

“Perspective huh? Explain please.” Angela hanging on to each word jotting away in her notes.

“I told her to stand very close to the painting and to only look only at the sides of the canvas, which is a dark black which is the base color of this painting. As she stared into the void of the color black I told her the dream tells me that this is your view point. I then told her to close her eyes as I guided her back and said to keep them closed. As her eyes remained closed I told her that if you stand to close to the painting you can’t see it’s true full beauty. She then opens her eyes to see the many vibrant colors that envelop the canvas facing us. As her eyes filled with tears I explained that if she could just take a step back and look at the whole picture then the fear falls to the background and the love comes into focus.” Kyle sums up.

“How do you feel about that time you were injured?” Angela asks.

“I see it as a net positive. I experienced nothing but support and love from her even when I could do nothing but embody pain. I was free to heal without the concerns of the world. To me this time that was hard and will be some of the most cherished time of my life. We are a couple that met just before the pandemic moved in with each other and grew from there. So many other people hated being stuck inside with their spouses. We discovered that we don’t need to speak to anyone else but each other. Our relationship became steel forged in fire and brimstone.” Kyle says dramatically holding his fist clenched tight in front of him to convey the intensity.

“Thats beautiful Kyle. I see how that perspective helped and I also see why I don’t have much to do as your therapist.” Angela says laughing.

“Anywhoozle doc… what was your question exercise before that realization interrupted?” Kyle asks confused due to the detour.

“Right.” Angela clears her throat from getting a bit choked up and asks… “what….”

“OH! What will tomorrow look like?!” Kyle interrupts.

“Yes, go ahead with it then.” Angela says chuckling.

“Like I had mentioned the mornings are a time for my wife and I to get ourselves balanced before the two monster boys wake up. Its like having two cartoon bulldogs bumping into everything.” Kyle getting off track says, “anyway the morning is full of our habits, light stretching, meditating, light chores, planning ahead and our morning couple conversation before she disappears to the jungle.”

“So then lets start with once the boys are awake.” Angela says to guide Kyle on track.

“We can always tell once the boys are awake because they will often scream like vikings coming off their ship charging a village they plan to pillage. These two will after proclaiming a joined battle cry will sprint to wherever we are and attempt to tackle me and gently hug and kiss their mother. After they admit defeat or work together to take me out my wife will take them to clean up and pick out their cloths. I will in that time finish their breakfast as I make a super coffee and clean up the kitchen after they have eaten. Then they will go and do their habits guided by my wife which will lead her off to work.”

“Now that your wife is off to work what is next?” Angela asks.

“Now the afternoon rolls around and that will begin with their school work and academic studies. On my wife’s breaks she likes to help the boys with their school work. In this time I will take my time to write and plan programs for clients. Mostly my writing though.” Kyle explains.

“Yes, the writing. It is to my understanding that your wife was the one to awaken this talent?” Angela asks.

“Yes indeed it was. Until that point I didn’t think anything I had to say was worth much attention.” Kyle says shaking his head in disbelief.

“You still don’t believe it?” Angela hints at.

“I definitely see I have a talent with words for sure but not to this level and because of that I will always be grateful to my wife for showing me its possible. She is my first fan after all.” Kyle says.

“What was I saying?” Kyle pauses. “Yes, so during the time of the boy’s studies and my wife’s first third of work and tutoring I will write some new piece I am working on. I like to give the best creative juices of my day to the writing first. Also this is the only time I can.” Kyle and Angela both laugh.

“What happens after the school work?” Angela posits.

“Next the boys are to practice their chosen sport that they chose interest. They may do skill work if I feel they are tired or we may push it if they are packed with energy. After that they are very warmed up and they will spare each other in jiu-jitsu which is their shared martial art. After their training turns into attacking me I will defeat them and we will clean up the matts and gear. Then the boys and I are off to do chores. I will do my main fitness training for the day while doing a cleaning hitt training for my rest periods. Time will fly and I will get peppered with random questions from the boys.” Kyle rattles off.

“What questions do they ask?” Angela asks.

“Sometimes I regret this rule, but it brings more good than trouble.” Kyle says.

“And that rule is?” Angela prods.

“They can ask any questions they want especially the question why.” Kyle states.

Angela begins laughing, “right that rule, you both have plenty of wild conversations with those boys.”

“What can I say I was a curious kid and I want them to be curious too. Those questions can go on for a while.” Kyle laments.

“What’s next in the day?” Angela rains back in Kyle again.

“Once chores are done the boys will play as I finish my workout and cleaning hybrid and it will be their nap time. My wife will often nap with them not just due to her pregnancy, but she has always liked a nap. Any way she will come out of work for lunch that I will have made for her and the boys and they will eat and take a nap. I will clean up and often wait for a training client to come by for a session or a partner for some business stuffs.” Kyle lists off.

“What happens after the nap?” Angela asks.

“Post nap is creative time that will often take up the remaining day and bring us into evening time. Creative time is when the boys will choose any kind of art to do. That could mean they could go do more training or they can pick from any medium that we have available. All we don’t have is a large slab of marble to chisel. The boys often loose hours and days to their projects or training. After the art we will often run any errands needed, but that we have to wiped the kids out for good.” Kyle states.

“How do you go about that?” Angela asks.

“Dog park with all the dogs, regular park for the boys, some planned water gun fight, parkour gym, rock climbing…. Honestly depending on the day it could be anything.” Kyle lists and tires himself.

“Then you run errands? With two boys?” Angela asking is disbelief.

“Now a days being that my wife is preggers with the third I like to take the boys out as she has a bath or something relaxing. So once tired I will often place the boys in the cart and they can listen to a podcast or audiobook for the duration. The car ride home is often them asleep.” Kyle says.

“Now we are entering the evening of the day; what happens here?” Angela asks reigning in Kyle.

“The evening is my most relaxing time of day.” Kyle says with an honest bliss across his face.

“Really it’s the only time of the day I am actively trying to chill most.” Kyle says trying to convince himself of what chill is as his personality is farthest from it. “Once five pm rolls around thats when my wife will emerge from her wilderness office.”

“Tell me about her office. I was told that you built it yourself. Tell me about how you envisioned this before building it.” Angela clarifying her questions.

“We actually built it together. It sits in the deepest corner of the garden and has a stunning cobble stone path from the back yard of the home passing by some of the rescue farm animals and leading to the front entrance. The garden looks like it has accepted her office into it’s natural landscape as vines that line the walls have covered the office in a green sweater. Makes the solar panels on top and air conditioning unit on the structure look like the perfect balance between technology and nature. Surrounding the sides that have windows are birds of paradise and various color roses that creates a beautiful pop of natural color that blends well with the natural colors on the office. The goal was to blend it in with the garden so that we could find a balance for my wife as she looks at a screen all day. We decided the best thing to do is put in the middle of nature so we did. It really is like walking through a fairy tale to goto work everyday. Anyway what were we talking about?” Kyle rambled on and suddenly asks feeling he got side tracked.

Angela kindly says, “don’t you worry that was a good rant. You were telling me about your evenings and I asked about the office you made for your wife. You were explaining that the evening portion starts at around five pm.”

“Oh yes! Okay so usually around five pm is when my wife will finish her main days work and come to playing the dogs, animals and kids before getting into her evening routines. By that time I have done plenty of play so that the kids and dogs are tired enough for my wife to finish them off. As that happens I make dinner and clean up the kitchen, reflexively. Once dinner is made and the boys have set the table after playing and cleaning up for dinner we will all have dinner at around six pm. Once we have eaten we will often go for a walk to digest and talk to each other. No technology aside from me having the phone just in case and everyone’s focus is on walking and talking about the day. Usually this conversation is started at dinner and become full conference by the time we have returned. The walk takes thirty minutes which leads us to the winding down portion. Post walk and talk the boys have forty five minutes of a show or video game after that save what you can and tech is shut down. We all gather in the gym and go through stretches together as we talk more. Typically if it wasn’t a hard physical day for the boys once we have stretched and they know no one is injured they will attack me and a good half hour of wrestling two boys commences. Because the gym has a large mat where mostly stretching and grappling is practiced, the boys will spring like kittens with claws in my direction, pouncing. This will go on until I win or they realize they need to work together. During that time is when my wife does all her skin care and journaling. After that the boys are sent to wash up and brush teeth which my wife will inspect once completed as she has issues with dental work.”

Angela chirps up, “yes I have heard the dentist issues. Anyway continue…”

“Right. Now comes the bed time routine with the boys. This is my favorite time as it is where we are all on the same page so to speak. Often the boys will have agreegument themselves to picking one of my stoic short stories to be read by my wife.” Kyle explain.

Angela interrupts, “agre-egu-ments?” Angela is confused at the new word.

“Oh yes, our boys have picked up seemingly genetically on how my wife and I use to argue in the early years of our relationship. It means that you argue about something, but you are both unaware that you are agreeing. I suppose this would be a shared short coming we both had and learned to be aware of and evolve.” Kyle surmises.

“Ah, I see agree-gument.” Angela says as a lightbulb goes off in her head.

“So once the boys have argued, fought and then realized they are asking for the same story they both will jump into bed. Awaiting their mom as currently she waddles in very pregnant with our daughter to come. Once she settles into the padded rocking chair in between the boys red and blue race-car beds my wife will begin the story. As the warm glow of the night time tent to the ipad eliminates my wife like a nightlight.” Kyle states.

Angela asks, “where are you in this?”

“I am sitting in the corner of the room with my ukulele.” Kyle says.

“Oh yeah, I was glad to hear you still play.” Angela says gleefully.

“Yeah,” Kyle says softly, “I will sit in the background as I strum a cord progression that isn’t planned which becomes a beautiful background to the sweet voice of my wife and the story. Once she has completed the story the boys are beginning to drift off. As she gets up to get to bed I continue strumming and picking along sustaining the white noise of the music as they enter their sleep cycles.”

“You said that your mom would often watch you sleep and how you found that to be weird. How do you see that now?” Angela prods.

“That’s funny to realize.” Kyle says laughing at the irony. “I watch those boys fall asleep literally every night and I will say it is one of my favorite times.”

“That’s a full day!” Angela says.

“Yeah after the boys are down, my wife and I will do our evening habits, clean up, watch a show and fall asleep most nights.” Kyle finishes.

“As always thanks for coming in even if it was to catch up for a session or twelve.” Angela says chuckling.