Modern Zombie

The air sharp with with cold’s crisp breath as beads of dew pool atop each blade of grass in the yard of a young couple’s home. In matching unicorn onesies the couple wakes up shuffling out to their respective mugs and assigned spots in the coffee nook. The north facing nook gives a wide view of the neighborhood threw the vast bubble like widow. When it rains you can sit beneath the water as it trickled from the sky without becoming wet.

This morning may have started like any other and yet as the couple sit in their nook adorned with their onesie hoods and respective cups of joe they gazed upon an odd sight of mild chaos.

A teenage girl runs ever so slowly into a pole as it cascades over her car like a tree bending to the wind as the bulb breaks on the roof. The teenage girl was startled by the breaking glass and the sight of her car wrapped neatly by a street light. The girl picking her head up out of the hook shape that became her neck from her permanent fixation on her phone.

The couple sip their cups murmuring to each other that despite noticing the predicament the girls hands remained on her phone the whole time. The couple shake their heads as the hoods seay side to side like droopy bunny ears. Sipping their mugs they see a neighbor from down the street Mr. Sheckles who seems to be surprised in his own right.

Mr. Sheckles seems to hate everyone and was out walking his pug as usual when this teen almost splattered the pug. The couple confer and realize that Mr. Sheckles uses one of those ineffectual flexie leashes and was also wrapped up neck deep in his phone as his pug drifted into the street with all the slack in the world. Unaware, Mr. Sheckles pug nearly got run over by that teen just before running into the pole. Slowly looking up from his phone Mr. Sheckles begins to yell at the teenage girl for being reckless as both his hand remain on his phone and dog continues to drift into the street.

The couple look at each other spot their phones in the living room and decide to leave them there. Both sip and see the neighbor across the street Susan is out with her bulldog for the morning walk, but she seems to be walking in a circle on her lawn as her bully follows confused. She also has both hands on her phone and a question mark made of her neck dangling her head in perfect view of the screen. She seems to have been doing this for a few hours as her shuffling has worn the grass down in her path. Susan has created a dirt circle on her lawn and her bulldog now wise to the pattern lays down in the middle of the circle as the leash swivels around connected to the harness on his back. Susan continued to walk for the next hour as the bulldog napped. Susan sustained her trance looking into her phone.

Finishing their coffees the misses of the couple gets up in a huff and grabs her laptop bring it to the nook. The couple look at each other hoping not to catch what the neighbors all have as they hesitantly open the laptop. Once open and on the couple look at the screen and each other a few time to be sure they can continue to stop looking after taking a breath they type metube.com in the boogle search bar. They click on the live broadcast of breaking news that reads in the thumbnail “MODERN ZOMBIE OUTBREAK!” The couple clicks and…

“Chet U. Betchya with some breaking news!” Says Chet as his cleft chin glistens from the lights above.

Quaffing his hair in his trademark way Chet continues, “Breaking News just came in to your first choice in the news multiverse with KCBCBD.” Pausing awkwardly as all broadcasters do Chet snaps back as the teleprompter flashing him back to reality. “Just in there is a virus hitting the world that is spread through technology. To tell us more is Dr. Janet Smartz. Dr. Smartz is the leading scientist on the relationship our technology has with a human’s biology. Janet tell us more about your field of study and lead us into what we are dealing with here.”

“Thank you for having me on. My name is Janet Smartz out of Hop Johnkins University and I am a scientist in the study of how technology is integrating with biology. Among my team I am a leading biologist and my side passion being software engineering which has made me suited for our team.” Janet sums up.

Chet snapping his gaze over to camera two to deliver his reaction saying, “that’s impressive and wild Doc Janet!

Turning his head back to Janet Chet asks “Who else is on your team?”

“Yes, on my team is another leading biologist, a few A.I. engineers, multiple teams of software engineers, leaders in psychology and a few professionals in media and marketing.” Janet answers.

Chet responds, “that is a stacked team Doc! So then tell me more about this virus.”

“Yes.” Janet responds as she opens her folder and pulls out her reference data, “what we are experiencing is the internet becoming sentient. Now the good news is that because humans created it the A.I. Internet it will develop much like us as the information it has access to is our biological development. Much like our DNA the internet after collecting all the worlds hive knowledge has manifested as a bacteria in the beginning stages of it’s evolution.”

Chet slack jawed and amazed asks, “so then if what I am understanding to be accurate here is that the internet after collecting our information since the 1980s is now at a stage where it has manifested as a kind of bacterial virus?”

Janet’s eyebrows raise and she smirks saying, “thats very well put Chet!” Pleased to see he is listening.

Chet then blurts to camera two for his reaction to the compliment says, “Radical Doc!” Chet’s head snapping back over to the Doctor.

Janet shakes her head a bit and continues, “as you mentioned the internet has become as aware as a bacteria and has taken on properties of a virus. How the technology has learned to become a virus is by the innovations in marketing like creating algorithms meant to feed you what you want to see and consume, tapping into your camera and microphones as well as collecting all data across multiple platforms. These innovations plus a vast knowledge of hypnotism and phycology of humans has allowed the internet to understand ways to keep you engaged so that it may collect more and more data.”

Chet chimes in as his teleprompter blinks altering him to ask a specific question on the screen, “How does engagement with our devices make us vulnerable?”

“Very good question Chet!” Janet says pleased continues, “engagement is how the virus infects you. Over time with exposure to this virus you will become taken over slowly depending on how much screen time you log each day. What this tells us is that this technological virus feeds on information and gains more as you continue to use technology.”

Caught off guard by the information Chet pulls his phone from his pocket chucking it like a frisbee as it rotates away slidding accross the floor of the studio. Chet says, “well now that that is dealt with what more specifically is contributing to the most screen time?”

Surprised by the action Janet says, “actually Chet you just did the best thing all of us can do and get away from your phone specifically any phones released in the last ten years.”

“What is so special about phones in the last ten years?” Chet follows up.

“Technology in the last ten years especially in the cell phone market have evolved leaps and bounds to what they use to be. What this tells us is the more sophisticated the technology you are using the more infected you can become. One device we need to stay away from are augmented and virtual realities as these are the most potent technological experiences one could have.” Janet answers.

Chet a gasp looks over at the prompt to get bearings asks, “What is the motivation of the virus?”

“Well Chet,” Janet clears her throat and sips water, “much like any virus or infection it’s main goal is to spread its data. Due to the nature of the internet the virus wants to learn much like human children seek out new words and experiences. The difference in this case the baby has a detailed understanding of humans from birth. A vast library of information at its disposal and the processing speed ten times faster than the smartest human. As it collects more information it will germinate and evolve.”

“Hmmm…” Chet caught off guard as he glances at the teleprompter and continues, “well then in that case, has there been any other time in the recent technological history where this could have happened?”

“Actually yes Chet, there was a game released via apps on ios and android devices called Gokémon Go,” Janet adds.

“This game was the first real attempt at augmented reality in real time through your devices camera. During the height of the games popularity there were thousands of people in very major cities seeking the virtual Gokémon. We discovered that the virus was born then. You could say this was the first sign of sentience.”

“That’s right Gokémon Go took off some years ago!” Chet adds, “I hadn’t seen my kids walk so much in their life til that point.”

“Exactly, a noticeable amount of people became enthralled in the pursuit of the creatures from their phone which lead to more than a few deaths. These individuals lost their lives falling into manholes, off cliffs, in front of moving vehicles, and in many cases sustaining concussion from walking into walls. This was the first sign that technology could do more to use than we assumed,” Janet surmises.

Chet then follows up with, “so then Janet how exactly does this virus effect us?”

“Great question, the techno-virus chooses entertainment as it’s cheese that is placed on its metaphoric mouse trap.” Janet says as she gestures up at the screen behind them.

“Oh look a mouse!” Chet exclaims.

Janet shakes her head realizing her mistake of visuals, “anyway entertainment has become the main function of the internet and with massive corporations and business focused on getting people’s attention is the recipe for disaster. The virus curates its own profiles on social media platforms, videos collected from all styles, video games and even polarizing news broadcasts.”

Chet then asks, “what are some examples of the virus’s tactics?”

Janet responds, “the virus will hook you with…

-An ad for something you want, but don’t need.

-A video on metube that is perfectly crafted for your taste.

-Logging into live gaming as a player in your team.

-As a bot in a chat room.”

Janet continues, “Any version it must take to get your attention and have you click the link is what it will do to spread. Once you have let it into your personal devices all entertainment medias are used to continually gather data on you and strive to sustain your engagement.”

Chet swallows with a loud gulp picked up by his mic and clears his throat asking, “What are the symptoms?”

Janet without skipping a beat states, “the symptoms are very simple…” Pausing for some dramatic tension Janet continues, “,anyone who is spending more time looking at their phones, tvs and smart devices than they do on real life. If that is you then you are most susceptible and are possibly already infected. If you think this is you it is imperative that you suspend any entertainment technology use and be seen by a therapist.”

Pale and ghostly white, Chet’s makeup runs a bit due to his cold sweat. Gathering himself Chet seeing the next question flashing in the teleprompter asks, “What are the stages of infection?”

Pointing at the screen behind Janet states as visuals appear, “There are three stages to the infection that we know of so far…”

The visual opens to Stage One as Janet continues, “Stage One: Attention Drain. This first stage is a lethargy will take place after each time you use your device. Sometimes you may find yourself down a deep research rabbit hole or watching back to back episodes of your favorite Toktics, GrinstaGram clips or Metube content. You may often forgetting what you need to do. Late for work, ignoring your children or loosing sleep. At this stage implementing systems like all entertainment is consumed on safer systems like tvs and laptops from about three years ago and begin wearing blue blocking glasses. Those who are content creators and gamers build in breaks to go outside and move around life without technology.”

Chet chimes in attempting to lighten the mood, “yes… here at KCBCBD we go for group walks before our breaks that is part of our schedule each day!”

Janet responds, “yes Chet walks outside are an excellent way to break up bouts of artificial consumption.”

Clicking her button for the next prompt Janet continues, “Stage Two: Addiction Hook. The second stage is where most people are in of the populous. If you are currently watching this broadcast and have a hard time being away from your phone please place the phone down and only listen via audio. The visual aspect of technology is how the virus gets you hooked. This stage mimics that of an addiction to any substance. You will become ill for some time as you go through withdraws such as vertigo, vomiting, diarrhea, blackouts and migraines. At this stage the virus has infected you enough where actual steps need to be taken like for that of alcohol or other addictive substance rehabs and groups.”

Chet clears his throat and says, “we have a call center you can access at the phone number on the screen. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms call immediately. Please continue Doc Janet.”

Janet nods and responds, “that is an excellent service that is connected to my teams and our latest information for rehabilitation.”

Janet clicks her button bringing up the final prompt saying, “Stage Three: Zombie Comma. The final stage is very grim. Once at this stage sets in, no brain function can be found and those affected are only physically functioning. In this stage the device commonly used will be permanently clutched in the patients hands as if calcified around it. The shoulders are frozen in a pronated arch and the neck resembles a hook shape that dangles the head over the device like a Christmas ornaments on a branch. The device at this stage almost seeming demonic in nature stays on a fixed setting that can’t be turned off that shows a fuzzy screen with flickering lights as if to sustain the comma like zombie state through a type of hypnosis. The individual has to be fitted with feeding tubes and catheters as they won’t move for any reason. The skin takes on a grey color and the eyes eventually become jaundice. This state continues til they die.”

The live audience, crew and Chet fall silent as the truth sinks in to them all. Suddenly each person sends a flurry of texts to their loved ones and all throw their phones to the middle of the broadcast studio.

Chet with a cheeky smile then says, “looks like we are all in agreement here. So then Doc Janet, what can people do to immunize themselves against a technological virus?”

Janet amazed at the response says, “well mot everyone had to ditch their phones but that is the first step. Something I always keep in mind at times like these is a quote a stoic philosopher,”

“Take the shortest route, the one that nature planned – to speak and act in the healthiest way. Do that, and be free of pain and stress, free of all calculations and pretension.” -Marcus Aurelius

Janet pauses to let that sink in. She then continues, “we are humans and we do our best when we stay in touch with nature and movement. Though some more practical methods are meditation and mindfulness training. Habits like mindfulness will aid in situational awareness, awareness of surroundings and awareness of your effect on others around you. Meditation will allow you more control of letting go; building this skill will allow you to step away from a device and not be bothered when it chimes.”

Chet spontaneously asks, “for those who work in entertainment what can we do?”

Janet perks up, “very good question, for those who are exposed at larger volumes of media will be much like a firefighter and ufc competitor now. Each job has its draw backs a fighter has to be concerned with bodily trauma. The firefighter has to be concerned with toxic materials making them sick. Now those who work in technology need to ward against this. Most professionals recommend routine camping trips, or anytime outdoors. Balance the time on your device with activities that bolster the human body and mind. These changes will allow your mind to build its own vaccine.”

The teleprompter blinks and Chet asks, “what can be done to stop the spread?”

Janet responds, “It’s simple, spend more time in person, in nature and participating in reality. Be present in each moment and live as if each of those moments matter. There is a reason why showing up to class is most of your grade; because being present and without distraction is how we humans improve.”

The couple each with one hand on a mug and with the other they close the laptop before Chet could sign off. Once the laptop was snapped shut the couple looks up at each other, shrug.

“Hmmmm.” The man letting it all sink in.

“Yep. Well…” the lady retorts.

“Oh!” Struck with an idea the man gets up in a hurry shooting the remaining coffee into his mouth and shuffling to the book case grabbing one and shuffling back over.

The man flips through the pages and finds it. Handing it over and pointing at a passage that reads…

“We need to master the art of acquiescence. We need to pay attention to our impulses, making sure they don’t go unmoderated, that they benefit others, that they’re worthy of us. We need to steer clear of desire in any form and not try to avoid what’s beyond our control.” -Marcus Aurelius

“Yup!” The lady sounds off.

The couple gets dressed in some more appropriate public garments and head out with their pup and no phones to go and people watch. How often does a couple get to experience a non-brain eating zombie outbreak.